baddecisiondzur: (shocked)
[personal profile] baddecisiondzur
I got time to kill before work, so have an essay. I need to write more of these.

So, bad games does things to people...

Honor/Tazendra

Because I don't have normal characters, Honor is probably least upset about dying in game. She knew the terms, she and Sion agreed on a way to decide it, and, upon seeing a 'double or nothing' chance, agreed to take it. Gambler is still in the 'enemy' camp, but it's not personal -- Tazendra separates enemy soldiers/generals from people who have personally offended her. Even his way of speaking was grouped as 'banter' not 'insult'. Granted, this will all change if she thinks about the game structure or if he openly cheats her.

Revival bothered her more. Because one of the pillars of Honor's self-image right now is 'I am brave'. She's had 'I am strong' smashed pretty well by the fact that despite her good physical condition (well, pre-death), most combat-oriented blanks can beat her in a fight by sheer experience, and today had a blow of 'I am noble*' -- more on that later. But she wasn't able to leave the Arena under her own power, and was kind of a pained mess on revival. (Never mind that revivals hurt everyone, especially when one was torn apart from within.) And everyone saw -- she might have excused Lyvus, as they are already becoming important people. But other teams are worse, because they are rivals, even if she doesn't mind being friendly with them. And no one was around from Lyvus to point out that everyone freaks out after a death, and the two times when she would have been able to observe, she was getting healed herself.

Okay, on to nobility! I can't quite think of the word here, but Tazendra is not her friend Aerich. Aerich spends fifty years becoming an expert in his House's martial arts and gathering information to avenge his parents' downfall and death. If Tazendra had learned 'yeah, your parents were killed protecting Aerich by Lord Shaltre, because Shaltre is a power-grubbing asshole' before the end of the book, well there would have been an angry stabby confrontation right away, unless someone showed her a better plan. She doesn't know how to respond to an insult except with angry stabby confrontation, except possibly with delayed angry stabby confrontation -- and the latter is a skill she had to learn. And not only did Kid fail to take her seriously, but Selendis and Trixie both told her to not pick fights with Judges -- for different reasons, mind you. Selendis was of the 'don't do dangerous things unless you stand to gain from it' and Trixie was 'think of your team'. Honestly, the latter makes more sense to Tazendra: the one way to get through to her is to tell her that you'll hurt her friends. She hasn't quite made the connection of 'if you get hurt, the rest of the team has to carry you til you heal', but I'm sure Lyvus will sit on her enough for her to figure it out. (The former does have weight coming from Selendis, though.)

And her one memory is stewing in a prison cell. Not an ego-boost at all. Really, canon is vague here since the Khaavren Romances are basically heroic, in that Tazendra's brute-force approach (usually tempered by her friends' different approaches) generally works for her. Hell, her final scene was beating through a supposedly-invincible magical protection by sheer rage and magic.

So, that's a shake in her self-image, insomuch as one has a self image after seven days. She's brave, but couldn't take the pain of coming back from death or the fear in Selendis's nightmare. She's honorable, but can't defend her honor without getting hurt. She's strong, but any blank can beat her, and she can barely walk right now. So... what else is there for her, besides sheer stubbornness?

There will probably be a slight change to Honor's Game behavior, in that she'll still be blunt and basically honorable about her confrontations, and willing to kill/risk her life in games, but she'll basically be willing to coordinate with Lyvus. She's not very good about plans that are more complicated than 'brute force applied directly to the problem', especially with lack of experience, but she'll happily follow through. If Lyvus isn't there, though, she may start posturing just to remind the other teams that she is a brave warrior and not the half-eaten shell they saw at the end of the Gambler's game.

Curls/Akin
So, pre-game, if Akin knew what Messenger and Flowers were planning, he might be torn. He didn't take the Judges too personally -- they're predators, in a sense (or parasites) and they do what they do to survive, even if they feed on others. Even Waterbearer, who is the only one to have killed Akin. But Waterbearer is obviously sick, which makes him even less in control of his actions. Now, it didn't mean Akin wouldn't fight them, and he didn't think they were dangerous beings, but it was still a moral conflict.

In canon, Akin's Oankali ancestors were pretty torn about rescuing humanity after a nuclear war because they thought that if humanity was crazy enough to commit self-genocide, then bringing them back (so they could do it again) or working them into the Oankali culture/biology would be just an exercise in making more pain. Death was sad, but inevitable, but many types of pain can be prevented. Only the realization that humans were biologically very compelling made them decide to go through with it, and the danger of working with humans is what led to the Oankali being creepy controlling bastards 'for humanity's own good'. (Akin is human enough to understand that the ability to be treated as equals and choose their own destiny means more to humans than being protected from all pain.)

So, the Oankali stepped in to save a dying world. Akin supports trying to keep the world alive. He can also question the wisdom of the Judges' parasitism, but it is everyone's choice to do stupid things involving making deals with alien gods.

But this was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. Akin is becoming more and more personally angry at the Judges, so he's less inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt and more inclined to see them as a dangerous disruption rather than a natural predator/parasite of humanity. Plus, well, Messenger and Flowers have their own right to die if they wish, and King binding Messenger just because he could is... well, it's wrong to someone who is used to collective decision making.

--
* This isn't quite the right word.

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Tazendra (Honor)

January 2012

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